Each year, I share a tongue-in-cheek story about football and how it impacts our family (you can check it out here). The experience hasn’t changed much over the years as the core of the story is still true but our relationship with football has evolved.
In the early years of our relationship and marriage, almost everything in our lives revolved around football. Back then (which is funny to even say) we were at the college level, a D-1 school, with a small child and the means aka money to pour everything into football. Now, we are a family of four, including one exceptionally energetic toddler at the high school level. The pace is still very hectic but, we love that there are very few overnight trips and recruiting is focused locally versus nationally. Meaning we have more time together as a family during the year- there is no offseason in football.
To be clear, our marriage is NOT interrupted by football, I am NOT a football widow nor a single parent. We fit football into our lives not our lives into football. And it works for our family.
As our family grew our priorities shifted and became more intentional as a core. We decided that although football is an important part of our lives, it is not our lives. We love football but she has seduced us more than once with her beguiling ways. She is as wonderful as she is unpredictable.
Trusting God’s plan for our marriage is key for us. We work insanely hard to communicate with each other and to have touchpoints throughout the day, especially during the season. The catalyst was a simple comment from a family member very early in our marriage and during the season.
“The two of you are not on the same page.”
While I can’t remember what it was specifically, I remember that it was true. We were allowing the demands of “the life” to slowly obstruct our marriage and we needed to work on a solution. We have come a long way and we continue to work on what is best for our family. Luckily, I married the right guy.
It doesn’t hurt to have a group of women that support you through circumstances you could rarely imagine yourself experiencing. No one understands the sweet nuances this life brings like a fellow wife. I was fortunate to have two great wives show me the ropes early into Bell and I’s football life together. They displayed all the wonderful qualities you would imagine in joining a new team in a new city. They set the bar high and I am forever grateful for their gracious acceptance of me into the football coaching family.
Many lifelong relationships start in the stands, on the sidelines, and grow as we wait in the tunnels and outside locker room doors with babies in tow at home and away. Coaches wives are a great source of support, friendship, and much-needed laughter! If you don’t have a crew find one, it’s worth it.
Good luck this season in your homes and on the field because winning is never overrated!