That One Time In College…

Every day on my way to work, I drive by the Oglethorpe House in the historic district of Savannah. The Savannah College of Art & Design (SCAD) converted the former motel into a co-ed residence hall for upperclassmen, graduate and transfer students and it always reminds me of where one of my most comical yet humbling college experiences took place.

At the beginning of my junior year, I started dating a guy from one of my classes. We met when he noticed I actually had the book for the class ridiculous, right? Later, I would learn he stopped purchasing books after his freshman year and this was how he met the majority of the girls he dated. So, let’s call him Detroit Red (DR).

DR was tall and sinewy with amber skin; funny and easy-going. He always smelled of cologne with light notes of marijuana and had more hooded sweatshirts than anyone I ever knew. He remembered my favorite ice cream flavor on my birthday and as it turned out he didn’t need books for his classes to achieve good grades. We didn’t have any issues or drama until the night we did.

One Saturday night, I was hanging out with my fiery friend, Butterfly. I can not recall what we did but, I knew it included a shot or two chased with gut-busting laughter. Butterfly had the complexion of latte and was flawlessly beautiful. She was the best cook I knew in college, fierce yet inexplicably the most easily frightened of all of my friends. If Butterfly ever starred in a horror movie the name of it would be, Grab Your Weapon and RUN! She did and still does have the ability to make me laugh like no other, frequently to the point of tears and stomach cramps.

But back to the story…

At the end of the night, I asked her if we could make a quick stop at Detroit Red’s apartment. He recently moved closer to campus so, it made sense to drop by since we were close, right? 

Disclaimer: I went to college in the early ’90s and no one I knew had a cell phone, so there was no calling ahead. 

Butterfly agreed to stop. The plan was for me to run up to say hello since my apartment was on the opposite side of town. Harmless enough, right?

Let me set the scene for you…

Detroit Red’s apartment complex was a converted motel, kinda like the Oglethorpe House but on a much smaller and cheaper scale. He and his roommate lived in one of the middle apartments on the second floor but, the steps to the second level were on the side of the building.

I got out of the car, walked to the side of the building, headed up the stairs and continued around the corner to DR’s place. I knocked on the door, his roommate peeked out of the window and opened the door a sliver so I could only see half of his face.

Hmmm.

SCAD's Oglethorpe House - Photo courtesy of Seriously Star
SCAD’s Oglethorpe House. Photo courtesy of Seriously Star.

Me (a little confused): Hey, Roommate. Is Detroit Red home?

Roommate: Hey, Slim (back in my off-campus living days, I actually WAS slim and in shape).  Naw. He isn’t.

Me: What’s up with you? You alright?

Roommate: Yeah, I’m good.

Me: Okay. Just tell DR I stopped by.

Roommate: Alright, girl.

He closed the door and I headed to the stairs (again they were located around the corner). I walked down the stairs to find Butterfly trying to get my attention and yelling at me from the car. I hurried toward her to find out what was wrong. Butterfly reported that while I was coming down the steps, A GIRL opened Detroit Red’s door and looked to see where I had gone. Now, for all Butterfly knew she could have been Roommate’s girlfriend, however, that never crossed either one of our minds. 

I only reacted. I knew there was a reason he barely opened the door…

Without a second thought, I dashed back up the stairs taking two at a time (man, I was in shape!) and ran down to Detroit Red’s door. I banged on the door hard with my fist like I owned the place and I was looking for my very late rent payment. Roommate, who at this point was doing his best to keep DR from having to deal with “a situation”, opened the door to a crack AGAIN but this time I KICKED THE DOOR OPEN.

Photo by Daniel Adesina on Unsplash

No one saw that coming…not even me!

I stormed into the room as Detroit Red (clothed) jumped to his feet from his bed on the far side of the room near the restroom. He walked toward me with his hands in the “calm down” position and followed me around the approximate 325 square foot room.

The girl, let’s call her California, immediately started screaming at Detroit Red, shouting all the questions you ask when you find out you aren’t the only girl your guy is “dating”. But instead of letting him respond, I loudly hijacked the conversation answering all her questions with venom. I headed to his dresser and started grabbing all the things I bought DR (which obviously wasn’t that much, I was a Broke College Student).

I was so focused on yelling and running around like a lunatic grabbing things that I hadn’t really looked at California. When I actually got a chance to see what this girl looked like I felt like I had been punched in the gut. Lord! Wait a minute? Is this really happening?

I turned to DR and said, “C’mon, really? Ugh”.  And slammed the door as I left.

Monday rolled around and I headed to my 9 AM class which was located in the library. In this particular class, we had to sit in alphabetical order. Guess who had been sitting behind me the ENTIRE semester? California! I think I threw up in my mouth when I saw her in the daylight. I had never noticed her before but, I couldn’t ignore her now. The entire class I could feel her saucer-like eyes on the back of my head as I tried my best to concentrate. After 50 agonizing minutes, the class was finally over. Only 600 more minutes of this class in the semester…I could hardly contain my excitement. 

I gathered my backpack, applied a fresh coat of Carmex and lip gloss, and got up to leave. Of course, California was waiting for me outside of the classroom. Fun.

California: We need to talk.

Me (my attitude was SO off the charts at this time): About what? I said all I needed to say on Saturday night.

California: How long have you been seeing him? Have you talked to him?

Me: Since the beginning of last semester. He called me a bunch of times yesterday. He never mentioned you…ever.

California: He called me too. But he lies so much. What did he say?

Me: That he was sorry and it was a mistake.

California (cutting her gigantic eyes at me): Well, he told me he wanted to be with me.

Me: That’s nice. I have another class.

And I walked away.

Later that night, Detroit Red called as usual. Still fuming, I decided I wasn’t about to LOSE to this girl. At this point, it was ALL about my ego. In my mind, I was the better choice. Plain and simple. The fact that DR was without question playing me, carried zero weight. 

Me: Listen, California and I talked today.  Did you know we are in the same 9 AM? Now, I have to see her every Monday, Wednesday, AND Friday until the end of the semester. I’m not dating you if you are seeing her, so choose, me or her?

Detroit Red: I choose her.

What the…? Huh? Dazed and stuck on stupid, I asked again.

Me: Did you hear me? I said… me or her?

Detroit Red: I heard you. I PICK HER!

The room started spinning and I thought I was going to pass out. My heart was beating in my throat. Did he just say he picked her over me? Seriously? With nothing left for me to say, I hung up the phone, defeated and embarrassed.

I remember laying on the floor in my room of the apartment I shared with another girl and calling my mom to update her on the situation. And then I got up. I liked DR and my ego was bruised but, that was it, no love lost. So, I showered, put on my pajamas, and took a seat at the small desk in my room to study.

What I learned from that experience:

  1. I was the side chick and didn’t know it.
  2. Make your own decisions, don’t allow someone else to control your destiny.
  3. If you ask a question, be prepared for the answer.
  4. Think with your head and not your pride.

Obviously, I survived. Sure, every time I saw Roommate he would laugh and remind me of the time I slammed their door so hard I shook the entire second floor and sure I survived one of California’s friends trying to run me over with her car… but, it could have been worse.

She could have been in two of my classes, instead of one!

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ICYMI: Back At It

Happy New Year! I am starting off this year with a recap post of last week… in-case-you-missed-it-small

Back To School: Georgia Peach and the Coach headed back to school! I was happy to finally answer, “Yes!” to GP’s morning question, “Is it a school day?”. She asked us the same question almost daily during her break. She was excited to reunite with her teachers and friends!

We hope her enthusiasm for school and learning continues for years to come. Or at least for the remainder of the school year. 🙂

Back To Work: I started a new position and could not be happier! I am so excited to work with this group and really looking forward to the work I get to do with them. My last position allowed me to work from home, so naturally I had to make some adjustments to working in an office….with other people. Outside of the most obvious adjustment, the dress code, I had a little hiccup with my usual music routine. I enjoy listening to music while I work and I noticed that the majority of my co-workers did too. So when the battery on my iPad Mini needed to be recharged, I decided to listen to music on my phone.

I unplugged my headphones from my iPad and tapped the Pandora music app on my phone.Unfortunately, the app started immediately and this song began to play loudly from my phone! Imagine quietly working at your desk and all of a sudden you hear…”Dirty South! Can y’all really feel me?” from the newbie’s desk! I frantically tried to silence my phone by swiping and fumbling with the screen. I had no idea what lyrics were next! Side note: Plugging my headphones into the phone never crossed my mind!

Luckily, only one person turned around to see what was happening. Everyone else…had on their headphones! Whew.

Back To The Drawing Board: After finding a temporary Nanny for GP for my recent jury duty, we were thrilled when we were able to land her as our full-time Nanny. Two days into my new position, Fit Nanny calls to tell me that she is quitting to take a job at her boyfriend’s company. Honestly, I wasn’t as upset about it as I would have been in the past (I know, who am I?). Maybe it was all the Nanny drama we had been through in the past that has left me numb? I don’t know. But, she explained that she had been a Nanny since moving to the US and wanted to try something new. Without experience, she was having a hard time making the transition. So, while I have no idea how I am going to tell GP she is getting a new Nanny (she LOVES her), I am happy Fit Nanny will be doing something she really wants to do. I know how that feels! 🙂

Back to the Blog: December is a difficult month for me so, I was mostly silent as the end of the year approached. My mom’s birthday, her favorite holiday, the anniversary of her death and funeral all fall in December. This year she would have celebrated her 65th birthday and for whatever reason that fact alone put me in a mini tailspin at the beginning of the month. Which I know is okay. But it was difficult balancing my joy of the season and the pain of not being with my favorite lady. Unfortunately, I know many of you share similar journeys of personal loss and together we take it on, one day at a time. Writing always makes me feel more connected to my mother so, I’m back! I will not only write here but, I will be branching out to other publications this year.

See you in a few days! I have a couple of posts I never published chilling in draft mode, so more is on the way. Thanks for reading!

 

Photo Credit: ImageChef.com

When Did We Get That?

My response to the Daily Prompt, a ten minute free write. Good luck reading it. 🙂

He can’t say no.

And because this impacts me too, I would like to officially request that you only ask The Coach to help you move when the following is true…

You are completely packed and all you need is some labor assistance.

There…I said it!

My Sweet Husband will help you move if you ask him because he is that kind of guy. But problems arise when you send him home with stuff you (a) no longer need and feel someone should have or (b) don’t have the energy to pack it or even throw away. He will likely say okay to something. First, he will text me and ask if we need (insert miscellaneous item here). I respond with a yea or nay but he will still show up with some random item.

Now, don’t get me wrong we have obtained some awesome move related things like:

  • A brand new camcorder (courtesy of my Mother-in-Law)
  • A flat screen TV (I guess it does pay to be nice)
  • And my favorite, my writing chair in my office (Thank you, Neighborhood Mom!)

But oftentimes he comes home with gems like this (The Coach spent a good 2 hours reliving his childhood, fixing the tires, chain and seat. I wholeheartedly expected to find a card in the spoke):

Blog Photo

Pic 2

Quick note: Our daughter is three and while she is below the weight limits, she exceeds the head circumference restrictions. In other words, Georgia Peach has inherited her Mommy’s big ol head (sorry, Love) and I can not see over it! Besides, I look like I am riding a horse while riding this bike. Not cute or comfortable. Looking forward to him taking that weird seat thingy off!

That is all. 🙂

 

 

How About That 8%

Happy New Year! We are gearing up for an unprecedented year of success and positive growth in all aspects of our lives. We wish nothing but the same for you and your family!

Normally, I don’t ‘do’ resolutions but, this year I decided I would give it a try. First, I started with a little bit of research on where this tradition came from in the first place. According to History.com, the practice can be traced back to ancient Babylon when their resolutions were as discernible as vowing to return borrowed farm equipment. Oddly enough, I probably know someone who would legitimately state this as a New Year’s Resolution, TODAY. Resolutions through the ages. 🙂

New-Year_Resolutions_listThe Top 5 Resolutions for 2014 are:

  • Losing weight

  • Getting organized

  • Spending less and saving more

  • Enjoying life to the fullest

  • Staying fit and healthy

Most know, I “grew up” in corporate America and have written performance goals for my teams (and myself) more than I care to even count. So seeing these types of “goals” makes me want to vomit. There is nothing actionable about them! How are you going to achieve them? Garbage.

So, I took a stab at picking something attainable this year. Here is a peek at my rough drafts…

  • Take it all the way down to zero on the cussing by not cussing. I have done pretty well since the Oh, Shirt experience. So this one is doable but, I would have to actually think of more suitable words. Thinking before speaking? Seems very mature and something an adult would do. Hmmm…might be too hard. 🙂
  • Stop watching all but one reality tv show by deleting all of the scheduled recordings (except for the chosen show) and NOT watching any I happen to stumble upon while channel surfing. But which one would I choose? This would leave me mostly watching Scandal, most of the line up on HGTV and The King of Queens re-runs. Are House Hunters, House Hunters International and Property Brothers considered reality tv shows? I hope not, because I’m not sure how I would fare without the Property Brothers.
  • Be on time by planning ahead more effectively.  This will take more than a year to master and is more of a lifelong resolution. Do they have those?
  • Truly listening while engaged in conversations by talking less. Hmmm.

I settled on the last one. 🙂 Here’s why..

Most people always ask the Coach and I how Georgia Peach is doing and my response is usually, “She’s great but, she talks non-stop.” After I kept saying it, I started thinking that maybe she was getting it from me. Do I blah blah blah all the time? I don’t necessarily think so but, I know as well as anyone that a little introspection never hurt and with that I made a decision on my resolution. A little less noise from me isn’t the worst thing, I guess. I will just channel that noise into my writing. More fun for you. :-).

So, do you have any resolutions this year? If so, don’t let the numbers get you down. In a study conducted by the University of Scranton’s Journal of Clinical Psychology, it is estimated that of the 45% of Americans that make resolutions only 8% are successful at keeping them.

Here’s to the 8%!

Oh and I decided to dial back my cussing too. 🙂

photo credit