Seriously, I Didn't Know

Tag: Marriage Humor

  • Let Them Eat Cake

    This summer GeorgiaPeach (GP) was blessed to have two birthday parties!  First, a small party at our home and then a family party back in the Land of Lincoln.  I know!  Sounds crazy to have two parties for a two-year old BUT, her very first birthday was a party of four (GP, the Coach, our dog, and a sad Mommy).  I grew up in a very large and supportive family where birthdays, all sporting events, dance recitals, and concerts were celebrated, supported, and attended.  If you had an event, someone in our family was there to support you. I wanted Georgia Peach to have similar memories of the “Family Birthday Party” with scores of her Aunties, Uncles, and Cousins so, we decided to travel to the love fest. Thanks, Coach!

     As with most things these days, I learned a thing or two about Kiddie Parties…

    Take Pictures Early

    Fruit ElmoGP loves Elmo so, I made her Elmo’s face out of a platter of fruit.  Now, I am NO Martha Stewart, I am more of the Pinterest Fail Kinda Mommy BUT, I will try. So when I made this for GP and it somewhat resembled Elmo I was  excited! 🙂 But here is where I made my FIRST mistake… I finished my precious Elmo, put him on the table and began to finish up some last-minute items.  As people started to arrive, I invited them to enjoy the food when I realized I forget to take a picture of Elmo!  By the time I snapped the picture, he STILL looked like Elmo but, a little troubled in the mouth area (the blueberries were good!).  Nevertheless, the Elmo face was a hit and the Parents loved the fresh fruit and yogurt option.

    Don’t Be Tardy for the Party

    Anyone that truly knows me knows that I take my parties and party planning very seriously. From the invitations to the food, the favors to the music, the thank-you cards to the decor, I try to make sure it is all cohesive ( or at least cute!). An hour or so into the party, I started to panic a little when I thought we could possibly run out of pizza. We still had an extra-large left but, I was worried.  How could this happen?  Just when I was about to order another pizza and send the Coach out to pick it up, I mentioned to my Cousin LudaLike (Ha!) what I was about to do.

    LudaLike: What time did the party start?

    Me: 11A. It ends at 1P, I need to keep GP on her nap schedule.

    LudaLike:  If someone shows up at this point and there is no pizza, don’t worry about it.  Party started at 11A.  Save your money.

    Me: Oh wise younger Cousin and experienced Father, I like it. Sounds like a plan.

    Turns out we didn’t even need an additional pizza.  The remaining pizza was enough and we nibbled on it hours after the party ended. Whew!

    SpitCakes Anyone?

    If I don’t remember anything from this party I will never forget this…

    Since our sweet daughter loves cupcakes, My Fabulous Aunt J offered to have an Elmo cupcake cake made for her. She is extremely generous and it was a cute idea. Thanks again, Aunt J!  We lit the candles and gathered everyone around to sing, ”Happy Birthday”.  When the song was over the family started to hype GP up into blowing out the candles. But…

    I didn’t let her blow out them out!

    I mean who wants toddler spit on their cupcakes, right?  Apparently, everyone except me. When I say this was a BIG MISTAKE, I mean I may as well flipped the table in a fit of rage RHONJ style from the looks and comments I got! I thought I was going to get kicked out of my OWN child’s party for this move. In hindsight, I should have put the candles on her own cupcake and let her blow out the candles. Lesson learned.

     Seriously, next year everyone gets spitcake! You’re welcome. 🙂

  • Not Exactly…An Art Project

    Now that I have some extra time, (I was laid off after being employed at a company for 7.5 years earlier this month), I have been spending the majority of it with the Coach (we are BOTH actively looking for new jobs!) and gearing Georgia Peach (GP) up for preschool.  One of the ways we are preparing is doing a daily activity/project with her.  Some know that my beloved Mother was a devoted and amazing Teacher, so I try to channel her loving spirit when working with GP on her letters, numbers/counting, shapes, colors, songs, and art projects. 🙂

    On this special day, I decided to dust off the Baby Hand Print Kit we received as a BABY SHOWER GIFT (yes, we know GP is two) and see if GP and I could make some memories.  We definitely made a memory! Just ask the Coach, he walked in on the action as it was unfolding.

    I followed the instructions to the letter or so I thought…

    1. Mix the contents of the bag with ⅔ water in the plastic container until smooth.~Got it.

    2. Let the mixture set for 2-3 mins~Okay. Let’s get some water while we wait.

    3. Press child’s hand in the mixture for 10 seconds and remove, works best when the child is asleep~She doesn’t need to be asleep! But something doesn’t seem right…

    4. Let the plaster dry in the container for 3 hours.

    Here is what we ended up with…Hand Print Art Project?

    I helped GP trace her name in the plaster with a pencil.

    Art project fail.

    At least GP had fun and the Coach had a good time laughing at us. 🙂

  • It’s Your Problem Now

    So, the Coach was visiting my Mother In Law and decided to spend another night with her. When the Coach travels, our house becomes unbalanced aka wacky house.  Both Georgia Peach (GP) and Coco Bean (our Yorkie) respond in their own special way.

    Coco waiting for the Coach.
    Coco waiting for the Coach.

    Coco will sit upstairs in a chair that overlooks the driveway and street until the Coach returns.  He will go out to do his “business”, eat, and drink some water only to resume his post until the Coach is home.  Kinda sweet.

    Our little Georgia Peach will go into every room in the house calling for “Daddy” when she thinks it’s time for him to be home.  Normally, I can distract her with her bedtime routine but, this particular night she had other things planned for her naive Mommy.

    After putting her down for what I thought was the night, an hour later I hear… “Helloooo? Helloooo? Mommy!”

    I walk to her room to find GP standing up in her crib.  I check the room temperature, her diaper, her blankets, her “baby” doll all fine.  I kiss her, lay her back down, walk out of the room, and close her door. For the next FIVE hours we do the “My Daddy Didn’t Kiss Me Goodnight So It’s Your Problem Now, Mommy” dance.

    Frustrated and exhausted (and by this time laying on the couch) I sent a text to the Coach.

    Me: Your child has been up every hour since I laid her down. Checked everything, she is fine. So tired.

    The Coach: I’m sorry, babe. If you checked and she is fine, next time don’t go in there, just let her get back to sleep on her own.  She will be fine.

    Me: Okay, I’ll try it.

    Twenty minutes later… “Helloooo? Helloooo? Mommy! MomMEEEE! Helloooo Hi!! Mommy!”

    Then, she starts to cry and the ‘Hellos’ become louder and funnier (don’t judge me, if you heard it you would agree, funny!).  I was chuckling quietly on the couch when she stops crying and I think, “Wow, the Coach might actually be onto something.”

    That’s when I heard it…

    THUMP!

    I think I stopped breathing! My heart was pounding in my chest as I ran into her room to find that my TWO YEAR OLD had revolted and climbed/jumped/fell out of her crib (she hasn’t even tried to climb out of the crib up until this point so, seriously?)!

    I picked her up frantically checking her head, eyes, ears, arms, legs at the same time kissing and hugging her.  GP didn’t cry at all, put her head on my shoulder, and went back to sleep.  I laid her down in her crib and went back to the couch.

    Obviously, I didn’t go back to sleep. I was freaked out and afraid Georgia Peach would slip into a coma or something so spent the rest of the night checking on her. Of course, I sent a text to the Coach which by this time was fast asleep in FL so, he didn’t see the message until he woke up.

    Me: Ummm, your Baby JUMPED out of her crib.  I no longer take advice from you.

    Reversed crib.
    Reversed crib.

  • Mommy, hugs?

    A few weeks ago, our Nanny (formerly known as Junk Food Nanny-she has traded the Funyuns for salads and fruit smoothies!) asked if we could watch her son while she and her husband went out. We love their son, he has been apart of our lives since he was born, he is now 15 months so not a problem, right?

    Wrong.

    Enter the wild card aka our little Georgia Peach.  Now, she plays with the Nanny’s son EVERYDAY. She shares her toys with him, she is kind to him, they go to storytime every week together. So, what could be the issue?

    Me.

    Apparently, the idea of me taking care of another baby es no bueno for GP. Here is a snippet of how our little genius would play me.  If she noticed that our Nanny’s son was in my arms she would say…

    “Mommy, hugs?”  I would bend down to hug her (with our Nanny’s son still in my arms) and the then she would and say, “Up, Mommy”.  She got me. Now, I am walking around with 2 toddlers in my arms.

    How do parents with kids close in age or even the same age manage?

    My sweet sweet Cousin and her Husband have two boys 10 months apart, the youngest is one of my Godsons, they definitely have their hands full on a daily basis. So, when I was in the throes of 1 of 4 tantrums from GP, I thought…do we REALLY want to add another child to our family? Can we handle it? More importantly, can I handle it?

    Yeah, no.  We can not handle it. 🙂

    The Coach was asleep through most of the episodes but, was awaken to my teapot whistling (yeah, I thought I was going to have some tea), a barking dog, and a screaming child (GP).  He comes into GP’s room where I was putting her pajamas on but, she was not having it and sees our Nanny’s son happily playing with GP’s crib.

    The Coach: So, you still want to have another baby?

    Me:  Right now, might not be the best time to ask me. I have no idea how our Nanny does this everyday!  And just think, The Incredibles (our very close friends whom we love and adore-we nicknamed them after the movie cause they are umm, incredible parents) have FOUR kids! God Bless ’em!

    Our Nanny’s son is teething and his parents warned me that he may be a little irritable. No worries, we are prepared.  GP almost has a complete set of teeth so we have been through the worst of it. When I tell you he was an absolute angel, believe me he was!  He played with GP in between her tantrums, let me read books to him, ate like a champ, allowed me to brush his teeth, and went to sleep easily.

    IMG-20130527-01243Our GP, well not so much…let’s just say she made a very convincing argument for being an only child that night.

  • Who Does That?

    In April, I went to NJ/NY to celebrate my Fabulous Friend’s birthday. Man, traveling alone has it’s perks. I sailed through the airport with just my pre-Mommy purse with no Cheerios, diapers or food pouches in sight! I felt light as a feather and slightly guilty for being away during such a busy weekend for The Coach…but, that subsided once I got on the plane and took a nap. Sweet joy in the morning! 🙂

    It was great to relive the old days of 9 p.m. dinner reservations, cab rides, subways and city shopping! I love Savannah but, a shopping hub…it is not.

    On the morning of my flight home, I realized that during our day of shopping, I neglected to pick up a little something for The Coach. Probably wouldn’t have been a problem if I hadn’t made a point to tell him, “don’t worry, I’ll pick up something for you too” when he asked me what it was like to shop in NYC.

    Crap.

    My husband can be a little tricky to shop for so, I may have backed myself into a corner here. Luckily, I had a layover in Atlanta and they have some decent shops in the airport so, maybe I could pull off something nice for my guy.

    Hold on, am I really planning a shopping trip to an airport? I am indeed…my choices were limited.

    When I got to Atlanta, I jumped on the train to my terminal and headed to my gate. Surprisingly on the way, I found a shop that had some items I thought he would like and wear. I picked up a nice button down shirt and mentioned to the clerk that I was lucky I found the store since I didn’t buy anything for my husband while in NYC.  The sales clerk said to me, “Make sure you take the shirt out of the bag so he doesn’t see the airport sales receipt”.

    My response, “My game is tight, kid. I got this.”

    I landed in Savannah after a LONG delay on the runway in Atlanta. I kissed The Coach and saw my precious girl in the backseat happily eating Cheerios and sporting her Father’s attempt at hair styling. Let’s just say I had some work to do before we sat down for dinner at the restaurant. But he tried, bless his heart.  🙂

    Once we got home, I gave Georgia Peach her gift (she is almost 2 so, a mini I LOVE NY stuffed animal FROM THE AIRPORT is cool). I did not put The Coach’s gift in my luggage, I kept it in the bag from the store, exactly what the sales clerk warned against. So, when The Coach brought in my luggage from the truck he asked what was in the bag. I told him it was his gift.

    20131213_165115

    He liked it and thanked me. THEN…

    He started asking me about the store. I must have forgotten who I married.

    The Coach: I have never heard of this store before, is it in NY? I really like the shirt, I wonder if they have a store close to us?

    Me: (Getting GP ready for her bath). I’m not sure of all of the locations (besides the one at Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport, Terminal C!).

    The Coach: Did you buy this shirt at the airport in Atlanta?

    Me: (Cracking up). Huh? What? Wait? What? How did you find that out?

    I walked back into the living room to I see him on the laptop, pointing to the name of the store and it’s location…the only one,  Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport. Come ON!

    Me: (Still laughing). I mean, who are you?? Honestly, I ran out of time and had to make it happen. Do you like the shirt any less? And what makes you jump online and look up the store, anyway, who does that?

    The Coach: I liked the shirt so, I wanted to see if there were other things I might like but, I’m guessing the store is not big, since it was probably a kiosk.

    Funny. 🙂 It was an actual store, big shot.

    Many a great find are attributed to a kiosk.  Here are a few…

    • Designer (knock offs) Sunglasses

    • Your Name on a Grain of Sand

    • Whatever the people who always ask if THEY can ask you a question sell. Lotion? Timeshares? Nail Buffing systems?  I don’t know.

    • A great DJ Mix CD

    In the end, The Coach liked his shirt and will have to go to the designer’s website for more shirts with a similar style or he can just take a trip to Hartsfield-Jackson.

    And, I, on the other hand, realized that ‘my game’ is no longer tight. 😉