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Daily Prompt: Third Rate Romance, California Love

Trying my hand at a Daily Prompt: Third Rate Romance 

My college friends love this story so I figured, why not share the embarrassment with the rest of you…again!

Here goes nothing…I re-present to you, “California Love”

At the beginning of my Junior Year, I started dating a guy from one of my classes. Let’s call him Detroit Red (DR).  Nothing serious but, we had fun and there was no drama until…

One Saturday night, I was hanging out with my fiery friend, Butterfly :-). At the end of the night, I asked her if we could make a quick stop at Detroit Red’s apartment.  He had recently moved closer to campus versus the country estate he previously shared with his roommate so, made sense to drop by, right?  I went to college in the early 90’s, no one I knew had a cell phone so, there was no calling ahead.  Butterfly agreed to stop.  The plan was for me to run up to say hello, since I was in the area and my apartment was on the opposite side of town. Harmless enough, right?

Let me set the scene for you…

Detroit Red’s apartment complex was a converted motel.  He and his roommate lived in the middle apartment on the second floor but, the steps to the second level were on the side of the building.  I got out of the car, walked to the side of the building, headed up the stairs and continued around the corner to DR’s place.  I knocked on the door and his roommate peeked out of the window and opened the door so I could only see his face. Hmmmm.

Me (a little confused): Hey, Roommate. Is Detroit Red home?

Roommate: Hey, Slim (back in my off campus living days, I actually WAS slim and in shape! I was also on the  Broke College Student Walk Everywhere Diet).  Naw.  He isn’t.

Me: What’s up with you? You alright?

Roommate: Yeah, I’m good.

Me: Okay. Just tell DR I stopped by.

Roommate: Alright girl.

He closed the door and I headed to the stairs (again they were located around the corner).  I walked down the stairs to find Butterfly trying to get my attention and yelling at me from the car.  I hurried toward her to find out what was happening.  Butterfly told me that while I was coming down the steps, A GIRL opened the Detroit Red’s door and looked to see where I went.  Now, I didn’t see the girl and for all Butterfly knew she was Roommate’s girlfriend. However, that never crossed my mind. I only reacted.

Without a second thought and my adrenaline pumping (mixed with the daiquiri I had earlier), I dashed back up the stairs taking two at a time (I was slim and in shape, remember?) and ran to Detroit Red’s door.  I banged on the door hard with my fist like I owned the place and they had been late with the rent.  Roommate (who at this point I’m sure was thinking, really? I’m trying to play this video game!) opened the door to a crack AGAIN but, this time I KICKED THE DOOR OPEN.

No one saw that coming…not even me!

I stormed into the room as Detroit Red (clothed) jumped to his feet.  He walked toward me and started to tell me to calm down. The Girl, let’s call her California immediately started screaming at Detroit Red, shouting all the questions you ask when you find out you aren’t the only girl your guy is dating.  But instead of letting him respond, I loudly hijacked the conversation. I headed to his dresser and started grabbing all the things I bought DR (which obviously wasn’t that much, I was a Broke College Student).

I was so focused on yelling and running around like a lunatic grabbing things that I hadn’t really looked at California. When I actually got a chance to see what this girl looked like I felt like I had been punched in the gut.  Lord! Wait a minute?  Is this really happening?

I turned to DR and said, “C’mon, really? Ugh”.  And slammed the door as I left.

Monday rolled around and I headed to my 9 AM class.  In this particular class, we had to sit in alphabetical order of your last name.  Guess who had been sitting behind me the ENTIRE semester?  California!  I think I threw up in my mouth when I saw her in the daylight.  Never noticed her before but, I couldn’t ignore her now. The entire class I could feel her saucer like eyes on the back of my head as I tried my best to concentrate. After 50 agonizing minutes, the class was finally over.  Only 45 more actual classes to go…  I gathered my backpack, applied a fresh coat of Carmex and lip gloss, and got up to leave.  Of course, California was waiting for me outside the classroom.  Fun times.

California: We need to talk.

Me (my attitude was SO off the charts at this time): About what? I said all I needed to Saturday night.

California: How long have you been seeing him? Have you talked to him?

Me: Since the beginning of last semester.  He called me a bunch of times yesterday. He never mentioned you…ever.

California: He called me too. But he lies so much. What did he say?

Me: That he was sorry and it was a mistake.

California (cutting her gigantic eyes at me): Well, he told me he wanted to be with me.

Me: That’s nice. I have another class.

I walked away. Later that night, Detroit Red called. I wasn’t about to LOSE to this girl.  At this point, it was ALL about my ego. In my mind, I was the better choice. Plain and simple.

Me: Listen, California and I talked today.  Did you know we are in the same 9 AM? Now, I have to see her every Monday, Wednesday, AND Friday.   I’m not dating you if you are seeing her, so choose. Me or her?

Detroit Red: I choose her.

Huh? Dazed, I asked again.

Me: Did you hear me? I said me or her?

Detroit Red: I heard you. I PICK HER!

The room started spinning, I thought I was going to pass out.  My heart was beating out of my chest. Did he just say he picked her over me?  Seriously?  This time I felt like I had been KICKED in the gut.  I hung up the phone. Defeated and embarrassed.

What I learned from that experience:

  1. I was the side chick and didn’t know it.

  2. Make your own decisions, don’t allow someone else to control your destiny.

  3. If you ask a question, be prepared for the answer.

Obviously, I survived.  Sure, every time I saw Roommate he reminded me of the time I slammed their door so hard I shook the entire second floor and sure one of California’s Friends tried to run me over with her car… but, it could have been worse.

Good thing I ran track. 🙂

There she is, get her!!
There she is, get her!!

Photo credits

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You Ain’t So Bad

When I was pregnant with GeorgiaPeach (GP), the Coach and I decided that we aka I would breastfeed our Little Peach. I made him promise me that if I wanted to quit he would remind me of the commitment I made to our family and to stay with it. Sounded simple enough to us. What could possibly go wrong?

We took a breastfeeding class. I read books and asked my Circle of Moms who had breastfed successfully and (not so successfully) what I could expect. I was as prepared as I could be. One emergency C-Section later, I was in the breastfeeding business or…so I thought.

It was a rough start for me. I was nursing GP on demand as you should but, I didn’t realize she didn’t need to nurse for an unlimited amount of time! My precious baby was channeling Clubber Lang, kinda like this scene from Rocky III.

After going to my corner and spending 3 days feeling like a human pacifier, unlike Rocky, I was ready to throw in the towel. Can I order some formula, please?  And that was when all of my ‘I Just Had A Baby And She Depends On Me To Eat’ emotions came to the surface and I broke down.

Me (crying): I quit! I’m not breastfeeding anymore. I don’t know what I’m doing. And IT HURTS! Did I miss someone telling me that part?

The Coach (very concerned and looking for the slightest symptoms of Postpartum Depression): What happened?

Me (still crying): I don’t think GP is getting enough to eat, I am still waiting for  my milk “to come in” and I miss my Mom! Listen, before you even start with me, I don’t have PPD so stop looking at me like that, this is normal, I JUST HAD A BABY! And no, I do NOT want to harm myself or our child, okay? I know there are other symptoms but trust me I’m fine, exhausted but, fine.

The Coach: Okay. But Babe, you don’t want to quit. You and I both know it. You are doing great, GP is definitely filling up these diapers so she is getting fed. I don’t know what you are feeling but, I will do everything I can to help and support you. Should we call someone?

The Coach: Wait. It hurts?

Me (exhausted): I don’t know who else to call! I’ve called Jesus, my Friends, the Lactation Consultant from the hospital AND I emailed the instructor from the class. I have one more day left in me and that is it!

So…I didn’t quit, my milk ‘came in’ the next morning (the way I found out was pretty hilarious but, I will spare everyone the details) and I successfully breastfed GP for the next 11 months. 🙂 But the point of this entire post is that the I felt slightly bamboozled by the masses.

Breastfeeding hurts…in the beginning.

Now, before  you go all Lactation Consultant on me, hear me out.

As a first time natural “provider” of nourishment to a newborn, I had never (ahem) used my lady parts in such a capacity or as much in a short time span. Know what I mean?  Even when you are doing it correctly you will be sore, in the beginning. And I had cooling pads, creams, a nursing pillow, a comfy chair, etc! The whole process took some getting used to and I was reminded that we were both learning what to do. Obviously, a number of women are not able to breastfeed for various reasons so, I get it. You have to do what works for you and YOUR family. Period.

So…I said all of that to say…if you are thinking about breastfeeding or if you just started, the truth is you will be sore and there will likely be some pain but, the experience was one I would never trade. Once I relaxed and settled in, GP and I started to work together. The pain DID go away and the experience transformed into what I envisioned all along, our first collaborative effort. 😉

Breastfeeding, in the words of Rocky Balboa, “You ain’t so bad”.

Take THAT Breastfeeding!

 photo credit

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Don’t You Put That Evil On Us!

Happy Flashback Friday! 🙂

This year marked my first Valentine’s Day…with a Preschooler.  A week before the big day, GeoriaPeach’s Teacher sent the Parents an email with some details for the celebration:

  • The party would be small and just for the kids (the last few parties families attended)

  • Send Valentine’s Day cards with your Child’s name in the from column only and,

  • Respond via email if you would be sending a treat for the class.

Perfect! Sounds easy enough.

I responded to GP’s teacher indicating that I would send some brownies bites (my contribution in ensuring the kids went home with the right amount of sugar).  Now, before you judge me…I have been VERY good with sending wholesome snacks for celebrations and parties. I thought, a couple of brownies won’t hurt, right? I pulled out some old Valentine’s Day cards I had lying around the house, signed them with GP’s government name and put them in her bag for school. Simple enough for a class of 7 two year-olds, right?

Oh, Clueless Mommy, when will you learn??

Valentine's Day mailbox from one of GP's friends.
Valentine’s Day mailbox filled with evil candy from one of GP’s friends.

When I walked into GP’s classroom to pick her up I was horrified to see ALL the cute gifts (she even got a book) and treats she had gotten from her classmates! They wouldn’t even all fit in her book bag.

All I sent were cheesy Sports Themed cards, which aren’t exactly a reflection of her current interests or activities. Boo! She loves ballet, Doc McStuffins and Bubble Guppies.

But the absolute best part of the day was this conversation with GP’s Teacher.

Teacher: You guys must not give GP donuts?

Me: No, it is a pretty rare occasion if she has one. Why? What happened?

Teacher: Well, one of the Parents brought in some Munchkins for our party. She ate 3 of them right away so, we had to cut her off. We cleaned her face and clothes, she had powdered sugar all over.

Me (laughing): Oh, Lord!

I turned to look at GP, she and the other girls were running around in a circle out of control.  I guess the other Mom thought, a couple of donuts won’t hurt, right?

I felt like Ricky Bobby.

Karma.

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How About That 8%

Happy New Year! We are gearing up for an unprecedented year of success and positive growth in all aspects of our lives. We wish nothing but the same for you and your family!

Normally, I don’t ‘do’ resolutions but, this year I decided I would give it a try. First, I started with a little bit of research on where this tradition came from in the first place. According to History.com, the practice can be traced back to ancient Babylon when their resolutions were as discernible as vowing to return borrowed farm equipment. Oddly enough, I probably know someone who would legitimately state this as a New Year’s Resolution, TODAY. Resolutions through the ages. 🙂

New-Year_Resolutions_listThe Top 5 Resolutions for 2014 are:

  • Losing weight

  • Getting organized

  • Spending less and saving more

  • Enjoying life to the fullest

  • Staying fit and healthy

Most know, I “grew up” in corporate America and have written performance goals for my teams (and myself) more than I care to even count. So seeing these types of “goals” makes me want to vomit. There is nothing actionable about them! How are you going to achieve them? Garbage.

So, I took a stab at picking something attainable this year. Here is a peek at my rough drafts…

  • Take it all the way down to zero on the cussing by not cussing. I have done pretty well since the Oh, Shirt experience. So this one is doable but, I would have to actually think of more suitable words. Thinking before speaking? Seems very mature and something an adult would do. Hmmm…might be too hard. 🙂
  • Stop watching all but one reality tv show by deleting all of the scheduled recordings (except for the chosen show) and NOT watching any I happen to stumble upon while channel surfing. But which one would I choose? This would leave me mostly watching Scandal, most of the line up on HGTV and The King of Queens re-runs. Are House Hunters, House Hunters International and Property Brothers considered reality tv shows? I hope not, because I’m not sure how I would fare without the Property Brothers.
  • Be on time by planning ahead more effectively.  This will take more than a year to master and is more of a lifelong resolution. Do they have those?

  • Truly listening while engaged in conversations by talking less. Hmmm.

I settled on the last one. 🙂 Here’s why..

Most people always ask the Coach and I how Georgia Peach is doing and my response is usually, “She’s great but, she talks non-stop.” After I kept saying it, I started thinking that maybe she was getting it from me. Do I blah blah blah all the time? I don’t necessarily think so but, I know as well as anyone that a little introspection never hurt and with that I made a decision on my resolution. A little less noise from me isn’t the worst thing, I guess. I will just channel that noise into my writing. More fun for you. :-).

So, do you have any resolutions this year? If so, don’t let the numbers get you down. In a study conducted by the University of Scranton’s Journal of Clinical Psychology, it is estimated that of the 45% of Americans that make resolutions only 8% are successful at keeping them.

Here’s to the 8%!

Oh and I decided to dial back my cussing too. 🙂

photo credit

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And So, It Begins…

When I became a Mommy, there were many things I looked forward to experiencing as a parent. But, there was one thing the Coach and I decided on up front that he would take the lead on when the time was right.

Watching animated movies with Georgia Peach(GP).

Couple of little known facts about me…

  • I have a thing for bullet points (if you hadn’t already figured that out, I think they are great and very useful).
  • I have little or no motivation to see dancing/singing animated characters in a full length movie.

I accept your judgement. 😉

The latter truly baffles The Coach. From time to time, he will see a title to one of these “amazing” movies and ask me with the tiniest bit of hope the SAME question only to be disappointed with my response, “No, I haven’t seen that movie, either.”

Sure, I have seen a couple since becoming an Adult but, I can count the ones I have watched from start to finish on one hand.

  • The Lion King-Who hasn’t seen this classic, right? I get it. I’m not saying much with this one.
  • Shrek-Hey, I am an Eddie Murphy fan. And to The Coach’s dismay, I find the movies Norbit (check out the awards for this film) and Bowfinger to be ridiculously hilarious. Again, I accept your judgement.
  • The Incredibles-Any movie that has Samuel L. Jackson adding his yelling I mean acting voice to an animated character warrants a try. And let me tell you, it does not disappoint!
  • Rio-I hear from those who watch these types of movies, I should not be proud to mention this one.

As a side note, we are aware that in a game night situation if the category of Disney or Animated movies comes up, I can offer limited assistance. The problem is that we are pretty competitive and have been known to randomly practice different trivia categories so we are ready to win when we get the call. So, I’m not sure what is more disturbing, the fact that we practice or that we haven’t actually been invited to a game night as a couple. We obviously need some friends here otherwise we will have to keep traveling to FL and IL to play with our family. 🙂

Back to these movies…so, my thought was that when Georgia Peach was old enough to see one of these movies, I would buy the tickets for them. Their first Daddy/Daughter Movie Date, cute right?

Obviously, I am too slow for them. Check out one of the gifts GP got for Christmas from her Daddy, a DVD. I suppose it doesn’t matter that she hasn’t seen the first movie of the series?

At any rate, I guess she was old enough on Wednesday. And so, it begins…

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What Is That, Red Velvet?

This year, I decided to celebrate my Mother’s birthday by doing something to honor her memory! My Cousin Unfiltered (she has this name for obvious reasons) pointed out to me on our beloved Grandma’s birthday this year, “Birthdays are to be celebrated.” And with that simple yet, poignant statement a fresh perspective and new tradition was born. On my Grandma’s birthday this September, I did a little something in honor of her and I thought on my Mom’s birthday (December 2) it would be cool if I learned how to make a cake from scratch. 🙂

346846Here’s why…

  • My Mom made some things from scratch + she was a great Mother = I will instantly become a great Mother upon making this cake. 😉

  • Baking is not a bad skill to have, right?

  • I will be able to teach Georgia Peach (GP) how to bake from scratch too!

All good reasons in my book so, I set out to make it happen.

First, I looked through the cookbooks and recipes my Mom and Uncle gave me to see if I could find a simple white cake recipe. Couldn’t find one. So, I took to the internet and came across a recipe. Red Velvet Cake. Yes! I thought, ‘if I can make this cake, my baking status in the family would most definitely elevate PLUS it requires fancy red food coloring…sweet!’

Now, I’m excited! I printed off my list for the grocery store and headed out to gather my ingredients. Since I am known to glance over recipe instructions when I should be paying attention to the details this time I actually noticed that I needed to sift the flour. Umm excuse me, sift you say? I don’t have a sifter, maybe I should have registered for one of those when we got married? Looks like I am getting one of those as well. Vamonos!

While at the store with GP, we weaved in and out of the 3 aisles dedicated to baking, like we are braiding hair. First the aisle with flour, then the aisle with the baking tins and next the one with the cocoa then back to the flour aisle…mainly because I was obsessed with getting the exact ingredients, I am not ready nor equipped to substitute things yet. We paid for the groceries and headed back home…without a sifter.

Now, I’m not sure who occupied my body earlier in the day but, I had dinner ready for The Coach (with two options) by the time he hit the door at 5 p.m. This allowed me to dedicate the majority of my evening to my cake project so, I was able to run to another store solely to locate and purchase a sifter. After feeding, bathing and putting GP to bed I began to prepare my work space for my latest masterpiece. I pulled all of my ingredients out and placed them on the counter. When I reached for the vegetable oil, I discovered we didn’t have enough for the recipe.

Focused and determined…I headed back to the store!

I returned home and jumped in, only to realize the eggs needed to be room temperature! I took 2 eggs out and laid them on the stove that had been pre-heating for about an hour now to help speed up the process. In the meantime, I decided to start measuring out my dry ingredients. I packed them ALL at once into the sifter measuring cup and tried to sift it. This was my first time using a sifter aka the devil’s kitchen instrument, I had no clue what I was doing outside of making a mess! Finally, I figured it out and saw why it was needed, those dry ingredients combined were as smooth as box cake mix. Nice!

Now, we are getting somewhere or so I thought.

As I moved to the wet ingredients, the recipe as clear as day, said the buttermilk should be at room temperature too! SERIOUSLY? I took it out of the refrigerator and put it in a warm bowl of water when my phone rang. It was my sweet Aunt J, checking on my progress and reassuring me that the cake would turn out fine. 🙂 I gave up on the room temperature buttermilk, the eggs were the appropriate temperature now, so in my mind it would all balance out. Ha! I combined the wet and dry ingredients with my mixer and poured the batter into 2 round tins and put them in the oven.

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26 minutes later…my first cakes from scratch were finished! Once the cakes were cool, I flipped, frosted and presented my masterpiece to my Husband who at this point had been asleep for nearly 2.5 hours. It was now midnight. The only way to determine if it was all worth it was to get Mikey er the Coach to “try it”.

The Coach: This is good. Can I get a glass of water?

Me: I thought you said it was good and moist, why do you need something to drink?

The Coach: Because you just woke me up to eat cake, I’m thirsty.

Me: Hmmm…20131203_003957

I tried it for myself and it was pretty decent for the first go around. For a project that had a targeted total (prep and bake) time of 1 hour, I finished in about 4. Whaaatttt?

There is definitely room for improvement. 🙂

What have you done or do to celebrate/honor the memory of your loved ones?

Photo Credit

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A Little Something For The Road…

The Coach is a pretty funny guy. Early in our relationship, we had the following conversation about funerals…

The Coach: I’ve been thinking about the type of funeral service I want to have when the time comes.

Me: What do you mean? Why are you telling me this? Is there something I should know?

The Coach: First of all I’m not dying and I’m telling you because you will plan it. I want my funeral to reflect me.

Me: Okay, but don’t most funerals reflect the deceased?

The Coach: Well, I haven’t been to many funerals but, the one that sticks out to me involved a terrible singer. The good thing about this guy was that his singing was so bad, he made us laugh. So, I decided that I wanted to do something a little different for mine. Let’s be honest, I’m a fun guy so why not put the ‘fun’ back in funeral. Most importantly, I want us to put together a cd of songs for our guests to experience. You know something they can play whenever they are thinking about me.

Me (laughing pretty hard): Wait, time out. The ‘fun in funeral’? And you want funeral favors to be handed out?? Since when are you an ‘experience’ guy? This is beyond crazy. Are you kidding me?

The Coach: I am serious! I would like people to have a little something to take home to remember me on the ride home or whenever. I was thinking a 2 disc cd set.

Me (still laughing): Where will this epic funeral take place? You know some of your favorite songs are not appropriate for a church.

The Coach: At church of course but, the cd wouldn’t be played during the service, it would be debuted at the wake/visitation. It will be a gift for coming to the funeral.

Now, I am laughing so hard tears are streaming down my face. A funeral cd? I am unable to speak. Finally, when I am able to collect myself, we continue the conversation.

Me: So, to be clear you want those attending your funeral to get some sort of party favor at the end? And you want that to be a cd?

The Coach: Exactly! And I want the liner of the cd to be a copy of the obituary.

I guess I need to look into something like this...
I guess I need to look into something like this…

Me:  This keeps getting better. I’m not doing that, you are outrageous.

The Coach: But isn’t the funeral suppose to be about me? I’m telling you this is what I want, isn’t it a great idea?

Me: Maybe we could do A cd, 2 is a bit much.

The Coach: You know I love for people to have a good time especially if we are hosting something, shouldn’t my funeral be the same?

Me:  I agree, funerals are a celebration of life. But you my friend, can go a little overboard. We will have to work on the details a little on this one.  Can we table this conversation for say 100 years? 😉

The Coach: Yes, but you have to do it for me!

So, naturally I did a little research on the subject and as I should have known, memorial or funeral favors exist. Just not to the extent of what The Coach would like to do.

Seriously, what have I gotten myself into here? 🙂

Photo Credits

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Where’s My Check?

The Coach was an amazing athlete in high school and college (according to him he STILL is, he’s cute). 🙂 While he was in college, he was blessed to grace the cover of Sports Illustrated.  Obviously, this was an AMAZING accomplishment and a framed copy of the cover hangs in our daughter’s bedroom. Recently, he went to pick up my Mother-in-Law, GG, from her house, a few hours away, to bring her up to our house for a visit.

Since GG is downsizing and moving back to her hometown, each time we go to her house she sends us home with some of the Coach’s things. Often times, pictures and childhood keepsakes of him and his beloved brother as kids.  This time, once GG was settled and the Coach had unloaded the truck, he walked into the kitchen and handed me this oddly familiar looking photo/picture/poster.

The Coach: Do you recognize that photo?

Me: It’s you but, it is weird.

The Coach: How do you know it’s me?

20131105_231300-1Me: Because I look at that image every day.  It looks like some generic version of the SI cover. Did you make that?

The Coach (laughing): It is me and no, I didn’t make it.

Me: Well, who did?

The Coach: Some sports marketing company.  Every once in a while this picture would pop up in grocery stores, gas stations, etc for football themed promotions or giveaways.  Once one of my friends saw it and told me about it.  After that, I would see them from time to time.  I got one and kept it.

Me: What?  Can they do that without your permission? Are they still using it? Where’s your check??

The Coach: There is no check.  I was in college when the original photo was taken so SI would be getting a check if anyone.

Me:  That is crazy! So, they have this picture of you popping up all around the Southeast and there is nothing you can do? I am going to track down this company and see what’s going on.

The Coach: You are funny.

Me: I’m serious!  I mean, you should at least be able to make sure the weird poster shows up at grocery store and gas station chains we like!  I’m just saying.

I did a little digging and that company doesn’t currently produce the weird poster anymore.  But I guess I can understand how it can happen…

Once while working as a Consultant in 2001, a woman in my group would often tell me that she had seen me somewhere before.  After a few months of us trying to figure it out, I thought I probably reminded her of someone else she knew. Until one day, she asked me to come into her office.

Work Lady: You know that my family and I are headed to Disney for our vacation this year.

Me: Great place.  I was there a few years ago for a conference, I had a great time.

Work Lady (smiling): I know!

Me: Huh?  How would you know about my conference in Orlando? Did we meet there??

Work Lady: Not exactly. You probably don’t know this but, Disney sends out promotional videos when you ask for more information about the parks and attractions.  Have you seen one before? I brought in the one they sent us.

Me: No, I haven’t seen one before.

Work Lady pops the video into the machine she has in her office and hits play.  We watched the intro of attractive families describe their dreamy Disney vacation filled with beloved characters, theme park attractions, and lifelong memories of ‘the best vacation ever’. I almost booked a trip for myself right then and there!  After a minute or two of these vacation testimonials, Work Lady fast forwards the video and pauses it…on the screen a still of me.

And then it all started to come back to me. While attending a conference at Disney, my co-worker and I were asked to do an interview describing our experience in Downtown Disney one night.  We did the interview, signed a release, and continued to have a good time, never giving it a second thought until now.

Work Lady pressed play and there I was on the screen raving about what a great time you can have as an adult at Disney.  The entire time, I watched (and laughed at) the video I thought:

  • Did I really think that outfit was cute?
  • How many other people have seen this?
  • I definitely had a couple of drinks that night!

Clearly, the Coach and I should have some endorsement deals.  I mean seriously, just think of all the grocery store and gas station football related items that reversible (that’s right it has two sides!) poster influenced folks to buy. And let’s not forget all the families that decided to choose another destination for their family vacation after watching the Disney video.

All I can say is…America, you’re welcome. 🙂

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Please Stop Talking, Please?

Dealing with the death of a loved one is an extremely personal experience, everyone has a unique journey through it. As you encounter every emotion under the sun, people say the stupidest things to you most, in an effort to comfort you or fill the silence with idiotic notions. Here are a couple of my favorites…

“It’s been a few months now since your Mom passed, are things getting back to normal?”

Umm Cray Cray, as old as you are you should know better than to say this to anyone a couple of months after losing their Mother.  My response, “Huh? I don’t know what normal is anymore.”

“…well, you didn’t need her anymore.”

Honestly, if I hadn’t been in church when this comment was made to me, I would have punched this idiot in the mouth. Seriously? This one STILL fires me up! You always need your Mother, obviously not in the same way you did earlier in your life but, you still need her. I have no words for you…that are nice. 😉

Please stop talking, please!

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So, here is my advice (yes, this post comes with unsolicited advice…you’re welcome!) when you are at a loss of words, try one of these two phrases.

 “How are you doing?”

or

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

Actually, some of the best sources of comfort for me came without a word being said, a hug, a gentle squeeze of my hand in passing, or someone just being present, there.

Of course, you should do what is best for you. But when all else fails and you aren’t sure what to do or say, a Hallmark card will work nicely too. 🙂

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Oh Shirt!

For the past three months, I have been living in a semi state of fear…of my two-year old.

Here’s the long and short of it…

One day while Georgia Peach (GP) was playing she accidentally knocked over her tower of Lego’s and I thought I heard her say something when they fell.  I brushed it off and kept it moving. A few days past and while drinking her water GP spilled some on the floor and as clear as day…I heard what I thought I heard her say the other day.

“Oh, sh*&!!”

What???  No no no no no no no! The room started spinning! I freaked out and said to GP, “DON’T SAY THAT!!”.

I started to panic.

She started to cry. 😦

I immediately start apologizing, hugging, and consoling my sweet girl. I knew she heard someone say it and I was determined to get to the bottom of who had turned my Southern Belle into a two-year old trucker.  I knew it wasn’t her fault.

The reality of the situation started to settle into my brain. Did we just become THOSE parents? You know what I’m talking about.  We have all witnessed a little one saying something a tad bit naughty and perhaps thinking (I’m just saying, I have) ‘What is that kid’s parents teaching him/her? Terrible.’  Now, the problem is in my house.  I can hear our neighbors now, “Georgia Peach has always been such a sweet girl.  We can’t believe it. Things like this never happen in our neighborhood…” 😉

To add to my angst one tiny additional detail…she was scheduled to start preschool at a Christian school in a few weeks.  She is going to get kicked out the first week! We will be on the local news.

I started with the Coach.  After I explained to him what happened, he told me that I probably heard her incorrectly and she was likely saying, ‘shirt’. After all she is only two and still working on speaking to us fluently in English (we are pretty sure her current language is a mix between French and Chinese). Nope. I know what I heard and it wasn’t ‘shirt’. Besides, she used it in the right context. Who says, “Oh, shirt!”?

At this point,  I am living in fear.  I’m worried that something will trigger the phrase and I will be outed as a terrible Mommy.

A few days past and I dropped something on the floor and without thinking, I said, “Oh sh*&!”.

Nooooooo. Aww man, it was me! I am the bad influence on my precious angel.  I like how I didn’t think to consider myself as the culprit in this entire situation.  Seriously, I’m an idiot.

I tried a number of ways to correct the problem when finally the Coach came up with a solution that stuck.  Anytime we heard her say well you know, we corrected her and replaced it with…

‘Oh, shu shu!’

It worked!  For us both. 😉 And just in time to start preschool.

Now, even though we have moved past it, I still have “Mommy Shame” about the entire situation.   I am just relieved GP only shared her new words with us. Whew!

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