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Marriage Advice From Your Single Friend?

This might be a bit of a rant so, I will try to keep it together…as much as possible. 🙂 I understand that some of you will not agree with this post, which is cool.  😉

Not too long ago, I was scrolling through my twitter feed and came across a tweet with a link to an article which I found rather ridiculous, entitled, “Why Single People Should Give Married People Relationship  Advice”.  Ummmm, say what?

I have always subscribed to the philosophy that single (and never been married) people should not give married people advice.  Period.  So, when I saw this link I decided to read it and check out the Author’s perspective.  Maybe I am missing something? In the article, the Author shares four reasons, why she is equipped to pass out her pearls of wisdom to her married girlfriends.  The Author is a single, never been married woman and feels her relationship experience has given her the knowledge to provide guidance, when asked. She understands that often times her friends reach out to her to just vent but, really?

Stating, “No, I have never been married, but I have been someone’s significant other and know the difference between right and wrong”.

That’s sweet.

I have only been married a short time and I can honestly say my marriage is completely different from any previous long-term relationship.  Granted, I married a pretty awesome guy who I like, love, and adore. But first and foremost we trust and believe in God which is immensely helpful just in our day-to-day interactions. Yet some of the issues/decisions we face, I could have never imagined nor did I encounter as a single woman in a long-term relationship.  So, I find it difficult to seek advice from someone who hasn’t experienced something similar within the confines of marriage.

I do not believe that just because someone is married they are equipped to offer advice to other married people. I’m not! 🙂  I think you should consider the source in all matters. There are some people who shouldn’t be or just don’t want to be married so soliciting advice from them about marriage should come with a yellow flag attached to it. 🙂 That’s not to say they don’t have something valuable to share.  It is likely they do.

If you needed a life saving surgery, who would you rather have performing your surgery? An expert in that procedure or someone who has watched the surgery performed but knows right from wrong?

What do you think?

Please Stop Talking, Please?

Dealing with the death of a loved one is an extremely personal experience, everyone has a unique journey through it. As you encounter every emotion under the sun, people say the stupidest things to you most, in an effort to comfort you or fill the silence with idiotic notions. Here are a couple of my favorites…

“It’s been a few months now since your Mom passed, are things getting back to normal?”

Umm Cray Cray, as old as you are you should know better than to say this to anyone a couple of months after losing their Mother.  My response, “Huh? I don’t know what normal is anymore.”

“…well, you didn’t need her anymore.”

Honestly, if I hadn’t been in church when this comment was made to me, I would have punched this idiot in the mouth. Seriously? This one STILL fires me up! You always need your Mother, obviously not in the same way you did earlier in your life but, you still need her. I have no words for you…that are nice. 😉

Please stop talking, please!

images-2

So, here is my advice (yes, this post comes with unsolicited advice…you’re welcome!) when you are at a loss of words, try one of these two phrases.

 “How are you doing?”

or

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

Actually, some of the best sources of comfort for me came without a word being said, a hug, a gentle squeeze of my hand in passing, or someone just being present, there.

Of course, you should do what is best for you. But when all else fails and you aren’t sure what to do or say, a Hallmark card will work nicely too. 🙂

photo credits

Blogger Idol…It’s Real and I Auditioned!

Okay, I decided to enter a Blogger contest, Blogger Idol!  Think American Idol meets Project Runway for the writing world. Of course this is my description of the contest so, I should probably stop changing the concept if I want to be selected. 🙂  But I mean wouldn’t it be great to have a contest like that though?  They could have challenges like ‘Update and Perform a Classic Motown Song and Create Three Original Designs for the video’.  I’m kinda loving that concept.  Although, it might make for a super long show.  Obviously, unauthorized “imitation” in the writing world is called plagiarism so, CLEARLY not what this contest is trying to promote.

Here’s how it actually works…if you are selected as one of the Top 13, you will be assigned a weekly writing assignment on a variety of subjects.  Of course, no competition is complete without eliminations so, those will happen weekly too.  The contest will run for the next 3-4 months.

In my mind, the contest would have highlights a little like this…

  • Judges commenting on posts that are “wordy” vs  the overused “pitchy” on American Idol.
  • Some type of “Mentor” giving your work a once over and saying the writing world’s version of Tim Gunn‘s infamous, “Make it work.
  • An eliminated blogger returns in some sort of ‘Judges Wild Card Save Scenario’. 🙂

I am pretty excited about it! I would love the opportunity to expand my writing skills and continuously improve my craft.  This platform would give me an enormous amount of exposure for my blog and invaluable advice aka constructive criticism on my writing. Not to mention, I could win a ton of amazing prizes!  I mean who doesn’t like to win stuff?  I do, I do!  Not a bad deal for an unemployed chick. 🙂

Honestly, I’m likely auditioning with the least amount of blog followers, blog posts, Twitter followers, Fan Page likes (umm, I don’t even have one of those yet!)… so I recognize this is a complete long shot. Here’s the thing… I HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE.  So, if you like my blog, please vote for me!  I will keep you all posted on how it goes and if I am chosen as one of the Top 13.  Vote on Facebook or on Twitter!

Thanks.

XO

Oh Shirt!

For the past three months, I have been living in a semi state of fear…of my two-year old.

Here’s the long and short of it…

One day while Georgia Peach (GP) was playing she accidentally knocked over her tower of Lego’s and I thought I heard her say something when they fell.  I brushed it off and kept it moving. A few days past and while drinking her water GP spilled some on the floor and as clear as day…I heard what I thought I heard her say the other day.

“Oh, sh*&!!”

What???  No no no no no no no! The room started spinning! I freaked out and said to GP, “DON’T SAY THAT!!”.

I started to panic.

She started to cry. 😦

I immediately start apologizing, hugging, and consoling my sweet girl. I knew she heard someone say it and I was determined to get to the bottom of who had turned my Southern Belle into a two-year old trucker.  I knew it wasn’t her fault.

The reality of the situation started to settle into my brain. Did we just become THOSE parents? You know what I’m talking about.  We have all witnessed a little one saying something a tad bit naughty and perhaps thinking (I’m just saying, I have) ‘What is that kid’s parents teaching him/her? Terrible.’  Now, the problem is in my house.  I can hear our neighbors now, “Georgia Peach has always been such a sweet girl.  We can’t believe it. Things like this never happen in our neighborhood…” 😉

To add to my angst one tiny additional detail…she was scheduled to start preschool at a Christian school in a few weeks.  She is going to get kicked out the first week! We will be on the local news.

I started with the Coach.  After I explained to him what happened, he told me that I probably heard her incorrectly and she was likely saying, ‘shirt’. After all she is only two and still working on speaking to us fluently in English (we are pretty sure her current language is a mix between French and Chinese). Nope. I know what I heard and it wasn’t ‘shirt’. Besides, she used it in the right context. Who says, “Oh, shirt!”?

At this point,  I am living in fear.  I’m worried that something will trigger the phrase and I will be outed as a terrible Mommy.

A few days past and I dropped something on the floor and without thinking, I said, “Oh sh*&!”.

Nooooooo. Aww man, it was me! I am the bad influence on my precious angel.  I like how I didn’t think to consider myself as the culprit in this entire situation.  Seriously, I’m an idiot.

I tried a number of ways to correct the problem when finally the Coach came up with a solution that stuck.  Anytime we heard her say well you know, we corrected her and replaced it with…

‘Oh, shu shu!’

It worked!  For us both. 😉 And just in time to start preschool.

Now, even though we have moved past it, I still have “Mommy Shame” about the entire situation.   I am just relieved GP only shared her new words with us. Whew!

www.trymyui.com
http://www.trymyui.com

Let Them Eat Cake

This summer GeorgiaPeach (GP) was blessed to have two birthday parties!  First, a small party at our home and then a family party back in the Land of Lincoln.  I know!  Sounds crazy to have two parties for a two-year old BUT, her very first birthday was a party of four (GP, the Coach, our dog, and a sad Mommy).  I grew up in a very large and supportive family where birthdays, all sporting events, dance recitals, and concerts were celebrated, supported, and attended.  If you had an event, someone in our family was there to support you. I wanted Georgia Peach to have similar memories of the “Family Birthday Party” with scores of her Aunties, Uncles, and Cousins so, we decided to travel to the love fest. Thanks, Coach!

 As with most things these days, I learned a thing or two about Kiddie Parties…

Take Pictures Early

Fruit ElmoGP loves Elmo so, I made her Elmo’s face out of a platter of fruit.  Now, I am NO Martha Stewart, I am more of the Pinterest Fail Kinda Mommy BUT, I will try. So when I made this for GP and it somewhat resembled Elmo I was  excited! 🙂 But here is where I made my FIRST mistake… I finished my precious Elmo, put him on the table and began to finish up some last-minute items.  As people started to arrive, I invited them to enjoy the food when I realized I forget to take a picture of Elmo!  By the time I snapped the picture, he STILL looked like Elmo but, a little troubled in the mouth area (the blueberries were good!).  Nevertheless, the Elmo face was a hit and the Parents loved the fresh fruit and yogurt option.

Don’t Be Tardy for the Party

Anyone that truly knows me knows that I take my parties and party planning very seriously. From the invitations to the food, the favors to the music, the thank-you cards to the decor, I try to make sure it is all cohesive ( or at least cute!). An hour or so into the party, I started to panic a little when I thought we could possibly run out of pizza. We still had an extra-large left but, I was worried.  How could this happen?  Just when I was about to order another pizza and send the Coach out to pick it up, I mentioned to my Cousin LudaLike (Ha!) what I was about to do.

LudaLike: What time did the party start?

Me: 11A. It ends at 1P, I need to keep GP on her nap schedule.

LudaLike:  If someone shows up at this point and there is no pizza, don’t worry about it.  Party started at 11A.  Save your money.

Me: Oh wise younger Cousin and experienced Father, I like it. Sounds like a plan.

Turns out we didn’t even need an additional pizza.  The remaining pizza was enough and we nibbled on it hours after the party ended. Whew!

SpitCakes Anyone?

If I don’t remember anything from this party I will never forget this…

Since our sweet daughter loves cupcakes, My Fabulous Aunt J offered to have an Elmo cupcake cake made for her. She is extremely generous and it was a cute idea. Thanks again, Aunt J!  We lit the candles and gathered everyone around to sing, ”Happy Birthday”.  When the song was over the family started to hype GP up into blowing out the candles. But…

I didn’t let her blow out them out!

I mean who wants toddler spit on their cupcakes, right?  Apparently, everyone except me. When I say this was a BIG MISTAKE, I mean I may as well flipped the table in a fit of rage RHONJ style from the looks and comments I got! I thought I was going to get kicked out of my OWN child’s party for this move. In hindsight, I should have put the candles on her own cupcake and let her blow out the candles. Lesson learned.

 Seriously, next year everyone gets spitcake! You’re welcome. 🙂

Not Exactly…An Art Project

Now that I have some extra time, (I was laid off after being employed at a company for 7.5 years earlier this month), I have been spending the majority of it with the Coach (we are BOTH actively looking for new jobs!) and gearing Georgia Peach (GP) up for preschool.  One of the ways we are preparing is doing a daily activity/project with her.  Some know that my beloved Mother was a devoted and amazing Teacher, so I try to channel her loving spirit when working with GP on her letters, numbers/counting, shapes, colors, songs, and art projects. 🙂

On this special day, I decided to dust off the Baby Hand Print Kit we received as a BABY SHOWER GIFT (yes, we know GP is two) and see if GP and I could make some memories.  We definitely made a memory! Just ask the Coach, he walked in on the action as it was unfolding.

I followed the instructions to the letter or so I thought…

  1. Mix the contents of the bag with ⅔ water in the plastic container until smooth.~Got it.

  2. Let the mixture set for 2-3 mins~Okay. Let’s get some water while we wait.

  3. Press child’s hand in the mixture for 10 seconds and remove, works best when the child is asleep~She doesn’t need to be asleep! But something doesn’t seem right…

  4. Let the plaster dry in the container for 3 hours.

Here is what we ended up with…Hand Print Art Project?

I helped GP trace her name in the plaster with a pencil.

Art project fail.

At least GP had fun and the Coach had a good time laughing at us. 🙂

It’s Your Problem Now

So, the Coach was visiting my Mother In Law and decided to spend another night with her. When the Coach travels, our house becomes unbalanced aka wacky house.  Both Georgia Peach (GP) and Coco Bean (our Yorkie) respond in their own special way.

Coco waiting for the Coach.
Coco waiting for the Coach.

Coco will sit upstairs in a chair that overlooks the driveway and street until the Coach returns.  He will go out to do his “business”, eat, and drink some water only to resume his post until the Coach is home.  Kinda sweet.

Our little Georgia Peach will go into every room in the house calling for “Daddy” when she thinks it’s time for him to be home.  Normally, I can distract her with her bedtime routine but, this particular night she had other things planned for her naive Mommy.

After putting her down for what I thought was the night, an hour later I hear… “Helloooo? Helloooo? Mommy!”

I walk to her room to find GP standing up in her crib.  I check the room temperature, her diaper, her blankets, her “baby” doll all fine.  I kiss her, lay her back down, walk out of the room, and close her door. For the next FIVE hours we do the “My Daddy Didn’t Kiss Me Goodnight So It’s Your Problem Now, Mommy” dance.

Frustrated and exhausted (and by this time laying on the couch) I sent a text to the Coach.

Me: Your child has been up every hour since I laid her down. Checked everything, she is fine. So tired.

The Coach: I’m sorry, babe. If you checked and she is fine, next time don’t go in there, just let her get back to sleep on her own.  She will be fine.

Me: Okay, I’ll try it.

Twenty minutes later… “Helloooo? Helloooo? Mommy! MomMEEEE! Helloooo Hi!! Mommy!”

Then, she starts to cry and the ‘Hellos’ become louder and funnier (don’t judge me, if you heard it you would agree, funny!).  I was chuckling quietly on the couch when she stops crying and I think, “Wow, the Coach might actually be onto something.”

That’s when I heard it…

THUMP!

I think I stopped breathing! My heart was pounding in my chest as I ran into her room to find that my TWO YEAR OLD had revolted and climbed/jumped/fell out of her crib (she hasn’t even tried to climb out of the crib up until this point so, seriously?)!

I picked her up frantically checking her head, eyes, ears, arms, legs at the same time kissing and hugging her.  GP didn’t cry at all, put her head on my shoulder, and went back to sleep.  I laid her down in her crib and went back to the couch.

Obviously, I didn’t go back to sleep. I was freaked out and afraid Georgia Peach would slip into a coma or something so spent the rest of the night checking on her. Of course, I sent a text to the Coach which by this time was fast asleep in FL so, he didn’t see the message until he woke up.

Me: Ummm, your Baby JUMPED out of her crib.  I no longer take advice from you.

Reversed crib.
Reversed crib.

Has Anyone Ever Told You…

A couple of years ago I was out with two of my favorite cousins.  We were planning to meet up with one of my close friends (she was the person responsible for the Coach and I meeting!) to celebrate with her while I was in Atlanta.  In the car on the way to the restaurant, we were catching up and somehow started sharing personal celebrity look-alike stories.  One of my cousins told us how someone told him he looked like Ludacris, which if he wears shades he KINDA does.  We were cracking up so, I decided to share my story.

Now, to be clear, these were other people’s thoughts of who we looked like. We think we all look like a combo of our parents but, who cares about our opinion right?

Me: “I’m not exactly sure where I was but, I do remember it was right after I graduated from college.”

Cousin Ludacris Look Alike: (Snickering) “How many years ago was that, again?”

Me: “Shut it! Anyway, this man comes up to me and says, ‘Has anybody ever told you look JUST like Whoopi Goldberg??’  Umm, thank you?

I don’t remember what happened after that honestly I think I blacked out.

Cousin Ludacris Look Alike who was driving and my Other Cousin go into hysterics! Laughing like I am Kevin Hart (who is HILARIOUS by the way), in between asking if I was serious.

I was.

Fast forward to about two weeks ago…on our (the Coach, Georgia Peach, and I) way to the beach we stop at a gas station.  While the Coach is filling up the truck, Georgia Peach and I head into the convenience store to grab some waters.  When we get to the counter to pay, the store clerk says, “Aww she is so cute (referring to GP).”

Me: “Thank you.”

Store Clerk: “Is she your child?”

Me: (Slightly confused) “Yes.”

Store Clerk: “Oh.”

Oh??  Seriously?

IMG-20120813-00654I guess GP doesn’t look like Whoopi. 😉

Mommy, hugs?

A few weeks ago, our Nanny (formerly known as Junk Food Nanny-she has traded the Funyuns for salads and fruit smoothies!) asked if we could watch her son while she and her husband went out. We love their son, he has been apart of our lives since he was born, he is now 15 months so not a problem, right?

Wrong.

Enter the wild card aka our little Georgia Peach.  Now, she plays with the Nanny’s son EVERYDAY. She shares her toys with him, she is kind to him, they go to storytime every week together. So, what could be the issue?

Me.

Apparently, the idea of me taking care of another baby es no bueno for GP. Here is a snippet of how our little genius would play me.  If she noticed that our Nanny’s son was in my arms she would say…

“Mommy, hugs?”  I would bend down to hug her (with our Nanny’s son still in my arms) and the then she would and say, “Up, Mommy”.  She got me. Now, I am walking around with 2 toddlers in my arms.

How do parents with kids close in age or even the same age manage?

My sweet sweet Cousin and her Husband have two boys 10 months apart, the youngest is one of my Godsons, they definitely have their hands full on a daily basis. So, when I was in the throes of 1 of 4 tantrums from GP, I thought…do we REALLY want to add another child to our family? Can we handle it? More importantly, can I handle it?

Yeah, no.  We can not handle it. 🙂

The Coach was asleep through most of the episodes but, was awaken to my teapot whistling (yeah, I thought I was going to have some tea), a barking dog, and a screaming child (GP).  He comes into GP’s room where I was putting her pajamas on but, she was not having it and sees our Nanny’s son happily playing with GP’s crib.

The Coach: So, you still want to have another baby?

Me:  Right now, might not be the best time to ask me. I have no idea how our Nanny does this everyday!  And just think, The Incredibles (our very close friends whom we love and adore-we nicknamed them after the movie cause they are umm, incredible parents) have FOUR kids! God Bless ’em!

Our Nanny’s son is teething and his parents warned me that he may be a little irritable. No worries, we are prepared.  GP almost has a complete set of teeth so we have been through the worst of it. When I tell you he was an absolute angel, believe me he was!  He played with GP in between her tantrums, let me read books to him, ate like a champ, allowed me to brush his teeth, and went to sleep easily.

IMG-20130527-01243Our GP, well not so much…let’s just say she made a very convincing argument for being an only child that night.