A couple of years ago I was out with two of my favorite cousins. We were planning to meet up with one of my close friends (she was the person responsible for the Coach and I meeting!) to celebrate with her while I was in Atlanta. In the car on the way to the restaurant, we were catching up and somehow started sharing personal celebrity look-alike stories. One of my cousins told us how someone told him he looked like Ludacris, which if he wears shades he KINDA does. We were cracking up so, I decided to share my story.
Now, to be clear, these were other people’s thoughts of who we looked like. We think we all look like a combo of our parents but, who cares about our opinion right?
Me: “I’m not exactly sure where I was but, I do remember it was right after I graduated from college.”
Cousin Ludacris Look Alike: (Snickering) “How many years ago was that, again?”
Me: “Shut it! Anyway, this man comes up to me and says, ‘Has anybody ever told you look JUST like Whoopi Goldberg??’ Umm, thank you?
I don’t remember what happened after that honestly I think I blacked out.
Cousin Ludacris Look Alike who was driving and my Other Cousin go into hysterics! Laughing like I am Kevin Hart (who is HILARIOUS by the way), in between asking if I was serious.
I was.
Fast forward to about two weeks ago…on our (the Coach, Georgia Peach, and I) way to the beach we stop at a gas station. While the Coach is filling up the truck, Georgia Peach and I head into the convenience store to grab some waters. When we get to the counter to pay, the store clerk says, “Aww she is so cute (referring to GP).”
A few weeks ago, our Nanny (formerly known as Junk Food Nanny-she has traded the Funyuns for salads and fruit smoothies!) asked if we could watch her son while she and her husband went out. We love their son, he has been apart of our lives since he was born, he is now 15 months so not a problem, right?
Wrong.
Enter the wild card aka our little Georgia Peach. Now, she plays with the Nanny’s son EVERYDAY. She shares her toys with him, she is kind to him, they go to storytime every week together. So, what could be the issue?
Me.
Apparently, the idea of me taking care of another baby es no bueno for GP. Here is a snippet of how our little genius would play me. If she noticed that our Nanny’s son was in my arms she would say…
“Mommy, hugs?” I would bend down to hug her (with our Nanny’s son still in my arms) and the then she would and say, “Up, Mommy”. She got me. Now, I am walking around with 2 toddlers in my arms.
How do parents with kids close in age or even the same age manage?
My sweet sweet Cousin and her Husband have two boys 10 months apart, the youngest is one of my Godsons, they definitely have their hands full on a daily basis. So, when I was in the throes of 1 of 4 tantrums from GP, I thought…do we REALLY want to add another child to our family? Can we handle it? More importantly, can I handle it?
Yeah, no. We can not handle it. 🙂
The Coach was asleep through most of the episodes but, was awaken to my teapot whistling (yeah, I thought I was going to have some tea), a barking dog, and a screaming child (GP). He comes into GP’s room where I was putting her pajamas on but, she was not having it and sees our Nanny’s son happily playing with GP’s crib.
The Coach: So, you still want to have another baby?
Me: Right now, might not be the best time to ask me. I have no idea how our Nanny does this everyday! And just think, The Incredibles (our very close friends whom we love and adore-we nicknamed them after the movie cause they are umm, incredible parents) have FOUR kids! God Bless ’em!
Our Nanny’s son is teething and his parents warned me that he may be a little irritable. No worries, we are prepared. GP almost has a complete set of teeth so we have been through the worst of it. When I tell you he was an absolute angel, believe me he was! He played with GP in between her tantrums, let me read books to him, ate like a champ, allowed me to brush his teeth, and went to sleep easily.
Our GP, well not so much…let’s just say she made a very convincing argument for being an only child that night.
In April, I went to NJ/NY to celebrate my Fabulous Friend’s birthday. Man, traveling alone has it’s perks. I sailed through the airport with just my pre-Mommy purse with no Cheerios, diapers or food pouches in sight! I felt light as a feather and slightly guilty for being away during such a busy weekend for The Coach…but, that subsided once I got on the plane and took a nap. Sweet joy in the morning! 🙂
It was great to relive the old days of 9 p.m. dinner reservations, cab rides, subways and city shopping! I love Savannah but, a shopping hub…it is not.
On the morning of my flight home, I realized that during our day of shopping, I neglected to pick up a little something for The Coach. Probably wouldn’t have been a problem if I hadn’t made a point to tell him, “don’t worry, I’ll pick up something for you too” when he asked me what it was like to shop in NYC.
Crap.
My husband can be a little tricky to shop for so, I may have backed myself into a corner here. Luckily, I had a layover in Atlanta and they have some decent shops in the airport so, maybe I could pull off something nice for my guy.
Hold on, am I really planning a shopping trip to an airport? I am indeed…my choices were limited.
When I got to Atlanta, I jumped on the train to my terminal and headed to my gate. Surprisingly on the way, I found a shop that had some items I thought he would like and wear. I picked up a nice button down shirt and mentioned to the clerk that I was lucky I found the store since I didn’t buy anything for my husband while in NYC. The sales clerk said to me, “Make sure you take the shirt out of the bag so he doesn’t see the airport sales receipt”.
My response, “My game is tight, kid. I got this.”
I landed in Savannah after a LONG delay on the runway in Atlanta. I kissed The Coach and saw my precious girl in the backseat happily eating Cheerios and sporting her Father’s attempt at hair styling. Let’s just say I had some work to do before we sat down for dinner at the restaurant. But he tried, bless his heart. 🙂
Once we got home, I gave Georgia Peach her gift (she is almost 2 so, a mini I LOVE NY stuffed animal FROM THE AIRPORT is cool). I did not put The Coach’s gift in my luggage, I kept it in the bag from the store, exactly what the sales clerk warned against. So, when The Coach brought in my luggage from the truck he asked what was in the bag. I told him it was his gift.
He liked it and thanked me. THEN…
He started asking me about the store. I must have forgotten who I married.
The Coach: I have never heard of this store before, is it in NY? I really like the shirt, I wonder if they have a store close to us?
Me: (Getting GP ready for her bath). I’m not sure of all of the locations (besides the one at Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport, Terminal C!).
The Coach: Did you buy this shirt at the airport in Atlanta?
Me: (Cracking up). Huh? What? Wait? What? How did you find that out?
I walked back into the living room to I see him on the laptop, pointing to the name of the store and it’s location…the only one, Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport. Come ON!
Me: (Still laughing). I mean, who are you?? Honestly, I ran out of time and had to make it happen. Do you like the shirt any less? And what makes you jump online and look up the store, anyway, who does that?
The Coach: I liked the shirt so, I wanted to see if there were other things I might like but, I’m guessing the store is not big, since it was probably a kiosk.
Funny. 🙂 It was an actual store, big shot.
Many a great find are attributed to a kiosk. Here are a few…
Designer (knock offs) Sunglasses
Your Name on a Grain of Sand
Whatever the people who always ask if THEY can ask you a question sell. Lotion? Timeshares? Nail Buffing systems? I don’t know.
A great DJ Mix CD
In the end, The Coach liked his shirt and will have to go to the designer’s website for more shirts with a similar style or he can just take a trip to Hartsfield-Jackson.
And, I, on the other hand, realized that ‘my game’ is no longer tight. 😉
Dear Current City,
First, I want you to know that I adore you but, we have a problem. Due to your lack of a decent authentic Mexican restaurant, I have resorted to something reserved for the very intoxicated or food amateur. Now, the Coach and I have tried a number of places that turned out to be no bueno in my book. I mean I grew up in an area where we would order tamales made by a woman in the kitchen in her home. So, I didn’t think it was too much when I asked for a corn tortilla while at a restaurant recently. This is standard stuff people. To be fair, not every place was entirely bad but, some things are a must. My corn tortillas being one of them.
Not long ago I was beside myself with needing some Mexican food so I turned to the only place I knew…Taco Bell. Yes, Taco Bell. And after that delicious Doritos Locos Taco hit my stomach like a brick I remembered why I avoided this place. I think the Doritos flavored shell was the actual ‘delicious’ part of my meal. I do enjoy myself some Doritos.
Do you think it is acceptable to not have a good traditional Mexican restaurant? Umm, and Tex Mex is not the answer. I’m looking for the place where Abuelita is cooking in the kitchen with her son or daughter and the fountain drinks INCLUDE horchata. I don’t need a ‘fresh take on Mexican’ so save your fusion combos and witchcraft recipes until you have mastered the basics. I blame you for my gastrointestinal issues.
My sweet Husband is constantly on the hunt for an acceptable place for me and while we were in FL recently, he made a point to take me to the one Mexican restaurant I liked. I like him. 🙂 So, it appears I only have two options…learn how to make my favs or track down the lady who made the tamales in her kitchen by the bulk and have them shipped here.
Now, our precious precious child has been on a plane more than most children her age and at the end of each flight we have been complemented and showered with praise for our well-mannered Princess. I knew this model behavior couldn’t last forever given that Georgia Peach (GP) is a very active toddler and is known to throw a tantrum like a Sean ‘P Diddy’ Combs Annual White Party. They. Are. Epic. I was prepared for the flight well, at least I thought I was…
Here’s how GP challenged my readiness.
In the terminal before the flight, I decided it would be a good idea to feed GP. Now, she has these great food pouches that travel well and she can feed herself with ease. Lately, she has been extremely fickle about having them though. One minute she loves them the next she has thrown the entire pouch in a mini fit of rage.
On this day, she hates them.
No problem. I anticipate this potential objection and BOOM have an old stand by ready…cereal. She eats like the Southern Belle she is until she decides to kick my hand and there goes the food. NICE. GP thinks this is hilarious. I do not. Luckily, I pack food for GP like we could get stranded for a day or two so I was able to quickly regroup and get her a fresh pack. Of course by this time, she is not interested in eating. Maybe she wants some milk, I thought.
She tosses the sippy cup.
I know my girl and caught it before it hit the disgusting airport terminal germ infested 1982 installed carpet. I get the nod for boarding early and move to the front of the line. Thank you, Lord! We make our way to the end of the jet way, I collapse the stroller and walk to our seat. I put our stuff down and head to the closet aka the airplane restroom to change Lil Mama’s diaper. We make it back to our seat to greet the grand prize winner…the lady seated in the seat next to us.
GP begins the flight in true Princess fashion. Sweet and charming, talking and playing until about 30 minutes left in the flight when all hell breaks loose. I still have no idea what happened. One minute she is calm the next I’m holding a straight back screaming child.
Me: Do you want more milk? I sign to her
She pushes it away.
Me: Do you want to play with this cool toy?
She throws it on the ground (goodbye toy, you are now dead to us). Crying and screaming escalates.
Me: Do you want to play with the iPad?
This is what she is really wants to say to me….if she could speak English.
GP: Umm no, I don’t want that stupid sippy cup with the soy milk you make me drink because I can’t “handle” the cow’s milk. And no, I don’t want to play with that tired old toy you brought for me, I’m over that toy. It’s for 12 month olds, I’m 18 months old now…learn me Mommy! And if you show me the Phonics Song ONE MORE TIME on the iPad today well…you already know….I’m TIRED!! Please let me sleep. Mommy!!!
I get it!
She is still crying and thrashing when the lady next to us touches GP’s foot and starts talking to her. My kid starts to calm down like I have been doing NOTHING to help her this entire time. At this point, I’m over it. I’ll take any help I can get! GP calms down and falls asleep. Just in time for the Pilot to announce we are 20 minutes from landing. Seriously?
Best part…we have a connecting flight. So here is a rundown of the high points:
The Gate Agent acts like I am muy loco by trying to board the flight when ‘passengers who need extra time’ are invited to board. Umm, I need extra time. Denied.
GP decides she wants to ‘eat’ my Cheetos. She has two teeth so, her version of eating is sucking the cheese off and placing her gross used Cheetos in my bag from the store. She gets a bit too ambitious with one and bites off a little and… throws up in my hand. Excuse me, did you just puke in my hand? This does not phase her…she keeps it moving. More Cheetos please.
Like an idiot, I have on a white shirt so I have orange Cheetos dust all over my shirt.
GP keeps taking off her shoes and socks so, I let her keep them off. Sure she looks like a Hillbilly but, I’m tired and hungry. Besides I don’t look any better with my cheese accented shirt.
Next time, I’ll bring the right toys for you and skip the Cheetos. XO 🙂
Before we had our Georgia Peach (GP) we decided that we would have someone come to our house to watch her after I went back to work full-time. We were still new to the area at the time and felt this would be the best option for my new-found obsession aka our baby girl. Which worked out for both of us…the less I freaked out about childcare the better it would be for The Coach’s sanity. 😉 So, I found a couple of great candidates on sittercity.com. and started interviewing for a full-time Nanny a few weeks before my return to work date. We settled on our current Nanny and all was well for about two weeks when I (trying to get to know her better) asked if she and her fiance’ planned to have any kids. Her response, ‘yeah, in March’. What the what? Now, don’t get me wrong, I loves the kids, I truly do. I congratulated her and asked all the questions you ask when you find out someone is preggers. But in the front, back, and side of my mind all I could think was…Damn, Damn, Damn! (Florida Evans style).
Photo credit-tvparty.com
So, after months of eating junk food, drinking sodas daily, and a diagnosis of gestational diabetes, our Nanny decides to start her maternity leave a week before our agreed upon ‘end date’. Are you kidding me? Now, this is partly my fault, I was thinking our last experience was the norm so I waited two weeks out to start interviewing-a week of interviews, then a week of training with the current Nanny-perfect, right? Not even close-now we have a week to interview, test out a Nanny to see if GP agrees and train. Seriously, I’m an idiot. Surely, good times are ahead…
First Girl: Brought her Husband to the interview. I guess if we had posted something on Craigslist, definitely. But, the funniest thing about this was, her Military Husband was scared of the Coach! She never once interacted with GP. No, thanks.
Second Girl: Very friendly, immediately interacted with GP, asked about our daughter’s schedule, likes/dislikes. Only concern was she also asked what our 8 month old’s favorite tv show was, say what? We don’t like GP watching tv, so my concern was TV Nanny would be watching tv all day and so would GP. On the fence…
Third Girl: Passed the interview with us but, never showed up for the home visit. Thanks for saving us the trouble.
So after the background check and references were complete we went with TV Nanny for the maternity leave. After some very specific instructions, things were going fairly smoothly until two weeks before our wedding. I had a day trip out-of-town to take care of some wedding business and on my way back, I received a call from the Coach.
Me: “Hey, Babe.”
The Coach: “Hey. How are you? Quick question, are we having some work done at the house?”
Me: “Ummm, no. Why? What’s going on?”
The Coach: “There is a pickup truck in our driveway with AL plates.”
Me: “WHAT IN THE …. Where are you? TV Nanny’s Boyfriend is from AL. Do not pass go, go in the house now!!! WAIT, let me call her and see if she says anything. Hold on don’t leave…”
I call TV Nanny ask her how GP was, where she was, and what she was doing. She tells me she is fine, she is in her playpen playing with her toys. I specifically ask her if there is anything else going on, SHE. SAYS. NO. I call the Coach back.
Me: “Hey. Go into the house. She didn’t say anything about anyone being there and if there is another person in my house with my baby I’m going to end up in jail.”
The Coach: “I’m going in.”
Me: “Call me back.”
The Coach goes in the house walks directly to GP who was in the playpen playing with her toys and picks her up then turns to TV Nanny.
Pissed Off Daddy: “Who is this? We don’t allow people we haven’t met in our house and around our child.”
Scared TV Nanny: “Umm, its my boyfriend he asked if I wanted some lunch and I didn’t think it would be a problem.”
(Boyfriend jumps up to shake Pissed Off Daddy’s hand-Pissed Off Daddy does not oblige).
Pissed Off Daddy: “Well, it IS a problem and the fact that you don’t think it is, makes it a bigger problem. This is a conversation we anticipate having with a 16-year-old babysitter not our full-time Nanny. You can leave now, we will call you over the weekend.”
The Coach calls me back and updates me while I freak out the rest of my trip home. I follow-up with TV Nanny and tell her we will talk in person on Monday AM. So, Monday rolls around and at 810a I get a text from TV Nanny…‘I’ve been so worried all weekend and I feel so badly about not asking if my boyfriend could bring me some lunch but, I think it is best if I quit. You can mail my check to this address…’
She was scheduled to come at 830a. Did this chick just quit via text 20 minutes before she had to work? You can imagine the tailspin this put me in, needless to say we managed to keep things afloat for the next 3 weeks which turned out to be the exact time Junk Food Nanny was returning.
Guess who had a giant Rice Krispie treat, a box of Dunkin Donuts, and a six-pack of sodas waiting upon her return?
After I had Georgia Peach, the Coach and I thought it would be a good idea for me to check out getting involved with some like-minded people aka a Mommy Group. Now, I already have a Circle of Mommies I chat with and seek advice from but, most of these fab Mamas are far, far, far away from me. 😦 Continue reading → That Just Happened!
I guess GP doesn’t look like Whoopi. 😉
Seriously, I Didn't Know 
